The Ambassador is Revered
Connor a beautiful grey Trakehner gelding with soft buttery brown eyes was the Ambassador of our farm. He was the horse that welcomed new horses and helped them integrate into the herd. He showed them the ropes without having to push or pull. He never chased and seldom was chased. He was this stoic Prescence that all horses respected.
There is something about white or grey horses in a herd. At night when there is moonlight, they glow so easier for predators to see. Was the respect something to do with that? I prefer to think that horses mirror their humans, and his human Robyn is very much like him.
She is an ambassador for our small village, involved in the community, while running her quaint coffee shop, embracing her customers with her very warm engaging smile.
A strong yet welcoming presence, just like Connor.
A quote from Brene Brown comes to mind.
“Don’t shrink back, don’t puff up, just hold your sacred space”.
Connor was good with all horses, in particular expert at showing show horses how to be “horses”. They were often turned out with him first. He coached them on how to be a “horse” then they would be gradually introduced to other horses. He then would step back and be that quiet friend in the background, part of the herd.
I would like to think he did not play favourites, but he did have a soft spot for the ladies.
He was really in love with Gracie, a lovely, retired show horse whom he mentored. You would often see the 2 of them off quietly grazing away from the herd. They reminded me of an old couple, just happy to be in each other’s presence.
This was until “The Painted Lady” arrived, Zora a drop-dead gorgeous paint mare.Connor was smitten. Okay more than smitten. He was infatuated and forgot his was a gelding.
He dumped Gracie.
I think he took his ambassador duties a bit too seriously, realized with his mobility issues he could not really attempt well…. stallion duties. The cuddles were cute but the attempted mounting not successful. So, tail down he walked over to Gracie, and she took him back.
He was back to Gracie and the herd and would occasionally just hang out with Zora, but no romance.
It was lovely to watch all this herd dynamics this past summer as Connor’s mobility issues were not getting better. He had been managing well for about a year and then it became clear in late summer that it was getting worse, and winter was coming.
The heart breaking but compassionate decision was made that we would give him a beautiful fall and help him cross into the world of the horse spirits before winter set in.
A day was chosen and then the grief filled waiting.
In many ways this is the hardest part for the human, the knowing that it is coming, the second guessing, and all the thoughts about that.
On October 23 we woke up to a gorgeous sunny fall day. I remarked, Thank you Universe.Robyn came out early to spend time with him. The farm was so peaceful that day, like it was being held by a higher power. Robyn remarked to “Do you realize this is the one-year anniversary of our last time riding together?”
Of course, it is.
I left Robyn to spend time out in the herd on her own to be present and to honour her horse. She recounted to me that as she sat in a chair in the middle of the field amongst the horses, all of them came over to her one by one in acknowledgement, honouring and holding space for her. Robyn told me they all lined up and quietly turned their behinds to her and stood. This is an act of sending grounding energy to her as the top of the tail is where the root chakra is on a horse. They were grounding her as they knew. (horses always know)
It was like, the ceremony has started.
Leaving the herd, she quietly took her boy out to graze on the lawn. I continued to create sacred space by clearing the herd and the surroundings with the sounds of a Tibetan bowl. The horses all looked up as the vibrations cascaded outwards.
Connor passed beautifully in the soft grass, held by Robyn, showered in love, while the sun shone, soft music played, and a smudge bowl smoked. All 4 of his herd mates lined up facing him on the other side of the fence holding the space, honouring their ambassador.
There is such beauty in ceremony with all beings so present participating in quiet peacefulness, the humans, the horses, the birds, and the trees illuminated by the brilliant sun.
The next morning, we let all the horses out to the pasture where he was put to rest. They all ran out to where he was, and every single horse rolled on his grave. Keenan first, then Gracie and then Buddy and Zora rolled together.A release and honouring for their ambassador.
It was so beautiful that I finally let out the tears.
Connor thank you for gracing our lives with such stoicism and grace. You are missed in body but so felt in spirit.
Ride high with the horse ancestor’s dear friend.